Friday, April 30, 2010


This is my last night of mandatory writing for a while. If I get my tattoo finished Sunday, I plan to post about that, but there will likely be no post tomorrow. This is good, since I will be cleaning and cooking all day tomorrow and will have a house full of people tomorrow night. I am a crazy person.

I really don't know what to write about. I was thinking about a post to explore why I don't fit in at church. Then I was thinking about a post that recaps the month or one about how I am not qualified to be a mother. Or a post about how I used to be a better writer than I am now. Those things will have to wait.

I just read this article about sleep positions. Studies are so interesting to me. I almost failed statistics in college (damn you, stats and what you did to my GPA!), but I think I'm at least a little 'common sense' smart. I often question studies and why the researchers decided to conduct them the way they did. Just this week while watching an episode of 'Mythbusters' where the team was trying to determine if cursing made something less painful, I was reminded of this. They did a test where the subjects had to hold their hand and forearm in a vat of ice water until they could no longer stand the pain. The first time they said random, pre-selected, non-swear words. The second time they let loose with expletives. Of course, they were all able to withstand the freezing pain better the second time, thus supposedly proving that swearing somehow lessens pain.

However, I would argue they haven't actually proven swearing helps you deal with pain unless they had switched between swearing or not-swearing first. Sometimes, when you know the level of pain you are actually going to experience you are better able to brace for it. When I had the original tattoo on my side, I was completely unprepared for how much worse it would hurt than the one on my back. I could barely catch my breath. Yet, when I had it added to, and then later retouched, I was much better able to tolerate the pain because I knew what to expect.

So, when I read the sleep study and found that as a 'Freefall' sleeper, I should be "brash, outgoing, and are very uncomfortable with criticism," I wondered how they came to this conclusion. They have the "very uncomfortable with criticism" part correct. But... seriously? What kind of person likes criticism? The brash and outgoing part is completely not me. I am far too concerned about the consequences of my actions to be brash and far to tied to the glasses-wearing bookworm in my head to be outgoing. I wish I had more information on how they conducted this study!

I really have little else to say about this, other than I dislike being pigeonholed based on how people think I should be or act or react. I'm a person, not a study. A person who needs to be a better person and better mother and better writer, but I'm doing the best I can. Is that ever enough?


  1. Please don't stop your blog. I know you need a break sometimes. I also know how much a family can demand of your time. I enjoy yours and Reen's blogs. When I get up, first thing in the morning is turn on the computor and check on both. It usually sticks with me the rest of the day. Why? I can't explain it. They strike a chord with me. Two, somewhat opposing views of life and people but still brimming with truth and understanding. Both of you are talented people and the one thing holding you back is self doubt. Neither of you feel capable enough to spread your wings and aim higher. The life of a writer is not an easy one and is fraught with disappointments and rejections. Unfortunately (for me) I am not a writer, I wish I could be but no such luck.

    As I told Reen, put your best work together in a manuscript and start mailing them to publishers and agents. You will get lots and lots of rejections but who cares? Someone will look a little deeper and recognise a gem eventually. It would almost be criminal to deny the rest of us of your talent. Go to the library and look at the shelves and shelves of claptrap that someone found worthy enough to put into print. Most of that stuff is cruelty (usually towards women) voyeurism and impossible sex. Makes one wonder which planet those authors come from.

    I maybe more agnostic that atheist. I believe all religion is a human invention. All of them remind me of good old boys clubs who seem to delight in degrading and abusing women and girls. What they do to females in the middle East sends me into a rage.

    You may make Reen aware of what I told you, I don't feel like typing it again.

    (Please forgive all my grammatical errors. Told you a am not a writer. You don't have spell check!!

  2. Aww girl....This seems like such a sad blog.... I think that you are a great mom and writer and all that other stuff... Don't be so hard on yourself...I mean, boys are just boys and they do the craziest, nonsensical things....what can you do they are boys! They will grow out of it I promise! :) Just wait till you have to tell me these things! :)