Why #1

I have lots of questions. It's not that I don't know the answers to any of them. The issue seems to be that I have a difficult time getting those answers from feelings to comprehensible thoughts, and from comprehensible thoughts into intelligible conversation. In order to address this, I'm going to try to start asking myself questions and trying to formulate some good answers. I have a list I'm working from and I probably won't post all of them on my blog, but I think this is a good place for a kick-start.


Why do I write and why do I write the things I do?


I write because I can. Because it is a good way for me to get thoughts out of my head since I seem to have so much trouble saying out loud what I actually think. I write because there isn't anything else I feel I'm good at. (Okay. I give pretty good hugs and I can make my kids laugh, but neither of those things are really a hobby.)


I write this blog because I decided I needed to get back into the habit of writing. I could have done this in a journal or notebook, but I often tell myself I will do something, but then I get busy and don't do it. I figured if I started a blog and told a few people about it (people I knew would check it), then I would be more likely to write on a regular basis. I've realized how much I need to practice writing and practice expressing my thoughts.


I also write this blog because I enjoy it. I never really read blogs before, but then my friend Sara started one and I realized they weren't all mommy blogs or food reviews or teenage angst. Once I started, I really liked doing it. One thing that surprised me was that I really wanted other people's opinions on what I was writing. I think it's nice to have feedback -- good, bad, or indifferent. I know some people who read this blog disagree with about half of what I write, but that doesn't bother me. I appreciate that they still take time to read it.


I write poetry because I like to play with words to see if I can get them to form a thought or thoughts in different ways. I write the kind of poetry I write because I want people to know what I meant when I wrote it. I do like to read abstract poetry. I like to think about it and apply my own filters and experiences and I enjoy thinking about what the person meant or was thinking of when they wrote it. But when it comes to my own poetry, I purposely try to be less abstract. I like the thought that something I write could mean something completely different to the person reading it than I meant when I wrote it. But, since I'm also trying to convey a certain thought or feeling with my poetry, I don't want it to be too abstract. I guess it could have something to do with my desire to communicate effectively.

So there you have it. Nothing great. but I think I could explain this to someone out loud. That's what I'm going for so I think this is a decent start.