Funk

"Happiness is an attitude. We either make ourselves miserable, or happy and strong. The amount of work is the same." -Francesca Reigler

Yesterday, and all morning this morning, I have been in a serious funk. The thing I hate about when I get in a funk is that I don't seem to be able to just not be in a funk at will. There are all those annoying quotes (see above as an example) about attitude and choices and all that, but I haven't found anything that I can do or think that will just make me automatically have a great attitude. I think that being miserable all the time is more of a choice, but I think sometimes there is nothing you can to to prevent yourself from having an off day here and there. It's not really a choice or something you put effort into; it just happens. And some of the things people say to try to avoid/remedy a bad mood actually make it worse.

Here's another quote: "I had the blues because I had no shoes until upon the street, I met a man who had no feet." (Ancient Persian Saying) Yes, you feel really bad for that guy with no feet, but you still have no shoes. And he doesn't need shoes. So.... thinking about someone else who has it worse, but still has a good attitude, does not alleviate a funk. Someone else having a crappy day or crappy circumstances does not mean that your day or circumstances are any less crappy. Maybe you're not as bad off as they are, but how is that supposed to make you feel better? You're certainly not happy things are worse for them. And this only makes you feel bad for that person AND feel guilty that you aren't able to handle your bad (but not-quite-as-bad) day as well as they are able to handle their worse life.

Focusing on the positive also does not help. According to a Maori Proverb, "Turn your face to the sun and the shadows fall behind you." Yeah? Well.... sometimes it's cloudy and gross and you haven't seen the sun for days. When I try this approach and think about the good things that I should be thankful for, like the people I love and a steady income, I feel guilty that I am in a funk when I seem to have no real reason to be. And I feel guilty because some people don't have those things. If there is anything worse than a funk, it's a guilty funk.

So.... now I'm not even sure of what the point of this post was going to be when I started writing it. Maybe someday I'll come up with some magic formula I can take when I start feeling guilty about hating a crappy day. Or maybe I will learn to just let it run it's course without trying to do things that make me feel guilty. Or maybe someday I'll just get a better attitude.