I know there are very few people who ever read my blog, but I've been working on this poem and I'm not sure it's working. If you read it and you have time to make a comment or two on what you think does or does not work, that would be most helpful.
Lights and background
show as perfect replicas,
yet the gaze is unfamiliar.
Blink hard in attempt to focus and
examine the features.
Seems impossible to discern anything
that bears resemblance to the truth.
If only a gaze could
pierce the mortal
to unshackle the intangible.
Safer to retreat.
Avoid the fate of Alice.
I like this alot. I love the Alice in Wonderland reference too.
ReplyDeleteI wish I had some actual, helpful feedback. All I know is that it's good, but you would not want me to try to be creative and help - I'm not too good at that. :)
ReplyDeleteThanks girls! And thanks for reading my posts. When I first started I told myself it didn't matter if anyone read what I wrote. Now I know it's kind of nice that there are a few of you out there who check in. :)
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