I am so not feeling it today. I actually put off this post until it wasn't even today anymore. I am so ready for this month to be over. I know I missed one day, but I've still been doing pretty well to spill something out into this blog text box all the other days. Sure, it may have been something stupid or rework of something old, but at least I took the time to type it out and post it.
Today, I just feel like this whole exercise has been a failure. I don't think my writing is improving. If anything, it is getting worse, diluted by the sheer volume of nonsense I've been producing. Such frustration. I guess since I didn't really have a goal other than 'Write Every Day' I can't really say I'm doing a terrible job. I guess I was just expecting some sort of breakthrough were I would realize a new direction for my writing. And now I feel like it has even less direction than before.
I guess I shouldn't lose all hope. I still have a week left. I guess something great could happen and I could suddenly feel good about my writing. I'm thinking that is not going to happen tonight.
Sitting.
Staring.
Contemplating practice.
Contemplating words.
Contemplating.
Waiting.
Waiting for practice to
make perfect.
Instead, all this practice
led me astray.
My eyes on perfection,
but my efforts
falling so short.
All this practice made
nothing that
resembled perfection.
All this practice made
burnout.
And self-contempt.
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