So.... here I am. Day 4. I've already realized that I am failing at my attempt. I just don't seem to have "it" any more. Not that I previously had these amazing things to write about every time I blogged, but I didn't usually obsess over how terrible I thought my work was for hours after I'd posted. I feel like I come up with an idea for a post and mull it over in my head, but when I go to write it, the whole theme just falls apart. Then I end up posting some jumbled nonsense that barely resembles the idea I had previously formed in my mind.
What to do, what to do? I don't want to throw in the towel already, but I also don't know what I'll do if I reach the end of the month and feel like I wasn't able to come up with at least a few decent posts. Grrrr..... stupid writer's block or writer's cramp or whatever this is called.
My friend Irena and I were talking about how much easier it was to write in college because, even if you weren't writing about a subject that interested you, you at least had lots of varying mental stimulation from all the different subjects you're studying at once. There is something about the daily routine of a job and a life where you do basically the same thing day after day that just crushes part of your creativity. And it's not like I do data entry for a living (no offense to any data entry people). I have a pretty interesting job where I get to work with people in all aspects of our company and delve into issues to determine what happened with things that I previously knew nothing about. It's not a mindless job, yet it's still like I can feel it sucking the creativity right out of me.
I guess I'll keep at it for now. Maybe I can find some things to read for inspiration. Maybe I can find a way to write in complete thoughts that go together and make sense. Maybe.
I wrote more when I worked in data entry. The job sucked out my soul, but I was surrounded by people, some of whom were interesting, some of whom were morons, and some of whom were downright nasty human beings. Because I was so low in the totem pole at work, I ended up writing about my frustration with the whole situation. And the job was so simple that it didn't sap me so much that I just came home and watched reruns of Roseanne until I fell asleep. There was still time and energy available for outside projects. I don't have that now; I'm just sapped.
ReplyDeleteWe'll get it back. We're just in a rut.
Is there a paved, rut-free road somewhere? I mean, this is getting old.
ReplyDeleteI really hope you get it back, even if I don't. I love the way you write.