Sunday, April 12, 2009

Emotionally Drained

No poem today. This has been an odd weekend. I survived my gathering last night. It seemed to go well, with several people saying they hoped I did it again, so I guess that is a good sign.

The boys had a BLAST this morning with Easter. I don't really play up the whole Easter Bunny thing. I just say they should go find their Easter Baskets, but Luke was still asking a million questions about the Easter Bunny.
"How does the EB get into houses?"
"How does the EB fly?" (no idea where he got that)
"Do you think the EB started at our house or at the first house on our street?"
"Do you think the EB eats candy when he is giving out Easter baskets?"
He is a very inquisitive child.
They got some stickers, temp tattoos, new PJs, a couple train cars, gum, Slinky's, and about 4 pieces of candy in their Easter baskets, but you would have thought it was the most lavish Christmas you can imagine. It was cute how they would look at each thing and be SO excited about it. I'm dreading the days when they are no longer ecstatic over receiving their very own pack of gum.

Later my parents came over and my mom was telling us about my Grandpa's rapidly failing health. He is quite unwell and disoriented now. He will be moving in with my aunt soon, as he can no longer be left alone for very long at all. He's fallen several times and not been able to get up for at least an hour until someone stopped by and found him. I never thought I would be this person, but I don't want to go and see him. I LOVE thinking of him as this sweet, independent guy who used to sing old hymns to my sisters and me. Who always put out a garden and mowed his grass with a tractor and bush hog. Who taught me how to use a tablesaw and a belt sander. He is one of those people who no matter where I was if I met someone who knew him they would tell me at least one story of how he had made a difference in their life. I hate, hate, hate the thought of seeing him completely dependant on other people. He was always taking care of all his friends and family and going out of his way to help wherever he could. I haven't been able to visit him lately since he's been sick and I couldn't take the boys around him. Now that he isn't contagious anymore I know I have to go see him, but I'm really dreading it. I know this is all part of life. That I should be glad of having the luxury of a little time to say good-bye. That many people have experienced far worse things than losing their elderly grandparents.... but I just really hate it and there is nothing more I can really say about it.

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