I am a mess of a person. I honestly have no idea how I have been able to accomplish anything at all in life. I wish I could say that my kids are to blame -- that my insanity is caused by all the worry and sleepless nights, but no. I can blame them for the worry and sleepless nights and the gray hair I found the evening after I posted a blog about how young I feel.... but I was a mess long before I had kids.
I had big plans last night. A birthday dinner with two very good friends at a really nice restaurant in downtown Cincinnati, then meeting up with an out-of-town friend from college and his wife for drinks at a Martini Club. Now, I do try to get out and do things with friends without my kids on a regular basis, but it has been probably a year since I had plans like this, dressing up and going downtown, etc. I needed to leave my house at 4:45. I started getting ready at 3:30. My sister was over to watch the boys. It went something like this:
Put on the dress and ask my sister if she thinks the neckline is too low. She gives me the whole 'Whatever you think' thing. I decide that even though I've worn the dress one other time and it wasn't inappropriately low for having a bunch of girlfriends over to my house for my 30th birthday, it was probably too revealing for meeting up with my best guy friend from college when I'm meeting his wife for the first time. So I look at all my other dresses and decide that I still need to wear this one and it won't be too difficult to just stitch the neckline a little higher where it crisscrosses. I start looking for my black thread. I get distracted by thinking about which shoes to wear and come out to the living room wearing one of each. My sister votes for the cute black ones and Luke votes for the funky pewter ones. Owen doesn't vote because he is taking a nap. I decide I will wear flip-flops and take both pair of shoes and ask one of the girls I'm meeting up with because she is my fashion consultant.
I remember I need black thread and I find it. But I can't find a needle so I look in the several places I think one might be, still don't find one, and decide I will do my hair while I think of where a needle might be. I do my make-up. I dig out the sewing machine box, but no needle. Then I realize that I don't have a card for the birthday girl because I tried to find one at Target and all their cards were really lame and the boys were beginning to run amok and being loud in the store (which is not okay with me) so I told myself I would get one later and never did. I look for my box of emergency back-up cards and can't find it. Then I do my hair. Then I think of where a needle is and have to dig out the step ladder to get it from the top closet shelf out of the little box part of the sewing machine. I take off the dress and sew it, but when I put it back on, it pulls funny to one side. I rip that out. I find my purse and make sure I have everything in it. I put on lip gloss, which I don't usually wear, but the dress makes my lips look pale.
I decide that I could probably sew the dress correctly if I could pin it while I'm wearing it and then take it off and sew it. But then I remember my straight pins are on the top closet shelf, which I can't reach. Screw it. I sew the dress while I'm wearing it. It is still slightly revealing, but now it is 4:25 and I really don't have time to mess with it any more. I ask my sister what she thinks and she tells me she thinks it's better even though I think she thinks it looks the same. I look for the card box again. No luck. Oh well. I didn't give her a card last year and she is still my friend so I move on. It is really warm, but I know I will be freezing in the A/C at the restaurant so I look for my red cardigan that I'd left on the counter that morning. I can't find it. I look in the laundry and everywhere I can think of. No luck. I start to look for a black one, but I only have a black wool cardigan and one with black sequins (wow... that is an embarrassing sentence). Then I remember the red one is in the car from when I put it there that morning when I left to run errands.
Ok.... purse, sweater, three pair of shoes....check. All ready and it's 4:45! Oh, but I need a camera. Where is my little point-and-shoot that will fit in my purse? And I should probably put on more deodorant since it's about 90 out. And I have a headache so I take something for that. And get some water in my eco-friendly refillable water container. And get 35 million kisses from an uncharacteristically affectionate Luke. Oh, and I should switch over the laundry so I can run another load in the morning.....
See what I mean? I'm really not a high maintenance girl when it comes to how much time I actually spend on my hair and make-up. It's the fact that I get distracted by 50 million other things. Leaving for church this morning was full of issues too, and I had to go back in the house 4 times (after I'd already strapped the kids in their car seats) to get things I'd forgotten. I don't know if this is genetic (although I doubt it because my sister is very practical and calm) or some form of mental illness or just that I am a complete mess, but it's pretty annoying sometimes. And the fact that I'm writing this for anyone to read is a little scary to me because I really don't think some people believe me when I tell them I'm a mess. Maybe they will now.
My sister suggested that I just start setting out everything I need the night before. She's smart. That would work for a normal person. I guess she forgot for a second that she was talking to me and that I would still certainly forget something even if I tried to get everything ready in advance.
Oh... the funky pewter shoes won, in case anyone cares.